


Watashi to Isshou ni Yasumu (Rest with Me)

by aegicheezu



Category: Gackt (Musician) RPF, GacktJOB, Jrock, Malice Mizer
Genre: Age Difference, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jrock RPF, M/M, RPF, a little inspo from from bbc sherlock on the stag night, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 13:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegicheezu/pseuds/aegicheezu
Summary: Gackt has been with Malice Mizer for just over six months; feeling a little isolated from the other members, he has come to rely on Kami for companionship and creative inspiration. One drunken night playing a guessing game, the men realize there’s more to their relationship than just business.





	Watashi to Isshou ni Yasumu (Rest with Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in 1995. Gackt is 22, Kami is 23.

After another disappointing band meeting, Gackt and Kami went for drinks on their own. The moon was rising in the sky and the weather was growing colder – they walked closely together, coat sleeves rustling against each other.

“Try not to take it personally,” Kami said softly, words floating on the cool night air. “It just takes a while for the members to really open up with new people. They gave me a hard time in the beginning, too.” Kami reassuringly patted Gackt’s back. “Come on, the place is just around the corner.”

Gackt smiled, trying to take Kami’s encouragement to heart. His expression brightened considerably once he’d realized where Kami had led them. “Isn’t this the bar that you found me in, at the start?” He linked arms with him, excitedly. “I haven’t been back in ages.”

Kami smiled. “It is,” he confirmed, grinning. “You forgot about it already?”

Gackt shook his head. _How could I forget? The first time I met you…_ “I wasn’t really paying attention to where we were going, the moon was too pretty. It distracted me,” he laughed. “Why this place?” He looked at the other man, eyes sparkling.

Kami pulled him into the bar, laughing. They quickly found a couch near the back and ordered their drinks. Kami took a long sip of his beer. “Because it’s Open Mic night,” he said grinning.

*

It took a few hours, but at last Gackt’s mood began to improve; he and Kami took to reminiscing about the night that Kami had found him, singing his heart out on the same stage that night over six months ago. It was then that Kami knew he was the missing piece to Malice Mizer; and had brought him to the recording studio the very next day. The rest, as they say, was history; though, the members were still not warm to Gackt, and it was beginning to affect the young vocalist.

“Gakkun, do you remember what I said to you that night?” Kami handed him another beer; Gackt took it, taking a long sip. He sighed, smiling and rested his head against Kami’s shoulder.

“You told me that I had something special,” he replied, voice betraying that he did not quite believe it. He looked up at the older man. “Do you still think so, really, Kami?” He sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if you put too much faith in me, after all.”

Kami’s soft eyes looked at the other man, and he felt his heart ache. “Of course I do,” he replied without hesitation, squeezing his shoulder. “It’s about time you started believing that yourself, Gakkun.” He rolled his head so that it rested atop Gackt’s on his shoulder. “Shall we go? I have better drinks than this at home, and snacks that are free.”

Gackt smiled. “Yeah,” he agreed, looking the other man up and down and remarking how handsome he looked in the dim light. “Let’s go.”

*

A few more hours had passed easily; the men were deeply entrenched in a game of _Who Am I_. “I really don’t know! I give up!” Kami laughed. For the last few minutes, he had been trying and failing to guess the name on the card stuck to his forehead. Gackt clutched his stomach in hysterical laughter. Kami made a pouting face, and Gackt at last gave in, gingerly unsticking the card from Kami’s smooth forehead.

“Don’t look at me like that, with your cute face,” he chastised. “It was Godzilla,” he grinned. “I can’t believe you couldn’t guess.” He playfully ruffled Kami’s long silken hair.

“Don’t be so smug, you still haven’t guessed yours yet,” Kami huffed, pretending to be annoyed with the handsome vocalist. “Go on.” _You’ll never guess it, will you?_ He thought.

“Alright, alright,” Gackt sat back on the couch, thinking. “Am I a person?”  
“Yes,” Kami replied.  
“Alive?”  
“Yes.”  
“A man?”  
“Yes.”  
“Young?”  
“Yes.”  
“Famous?”  
“Oh, yes.”  
“Handsome?” Gackt leaned forward on his elbows, smiling at Kami.  
“Very,” Kami replied, mirroring Gackt’s pose in the chair opposite.  
“Am I in a band?”  
“Yes,” Kami replied slowly. “Have you got it yet?” He inched his face closer.

“Maybe,” Gackt replied, suddenly feeling warm. _Is it the alcohol? I can’t tell…_ “I’m a young man, in a famous band, and I’m handsome…” he leaned back and smiled, looking Kami up and down. A smug grin crept across his face and he ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve got it,” he said at last. “I’m you, aren’t I?” He smirked, taking another sip of beer.

It was Kami’s turn to laugh. “No,” he got up to sit next to Gackt on the couch and faced him. “Try again.” Legs touching, an unmistakable warmth spread through Kami’s body and he suddenly felt very aware of himself. _What’s this?_ He wondered.

“I don’t know,” Gackt replied honestly, staring at Kami. “What position in the band am I?”

“Singer,” Kami replied, taking a chance and wrapping an arm around the other man’s shoulder. Gackt did not move away. “That should narrow it down a little, shouldn’t it?”

“Not really!” Gackt laughed. “Give me some more hints!” He looked at Kami for a moment, searchingly. He patted Kami’s thigh expectantly and kept his hand there.

“Alright,” Kami sighed, pretending to think. “You know him personally.”

“I do?” Gackt made a face. He thought for a moment. “Toshi?”

“He’s older than us!” Kami laughed. “It’s not him.”

“So, it’s not Atsushi either then,” Gackt smiled facetiously. “He’s older than us too.” He ran a hand through his long hair. “I really don’t know! Give me another hint.” Gackt looked at Kami, eyes soft and wide. He lolled his head on the couch and sighed. He sniffed, suddenly distracted. “Is that… is that a different cologne you’re wearing?”

“It is,” Kami moved closer and stretched his neck, inviting Gackt to smell him. “Do you like it?” Gackt moved closer and breathed in deeply. He looked up at Kami for a beat longer than he should have, and swallowed hard, heart beating fast.

“I do, yeah,” he replied. “It’s… nice.” _What’s wrong with me tonight?_ He wondered. _Something’s different, isn’t it…_

“Don’t try and distract me with your compliments, Gakkun,” Kami laughed, playfully pressing their heads together. “Go on, guess your card.” He held the young man’s gaze and grinned. _How cute you are, like this…_ he sat back and took another long drink.

“I give up,” Gackt sighed. “It’s too difficult! I don’t know any other lead singers personally.”

Kami ran a hand through Gackt’s long hair, twirling the ends in his fingers. “ _Think_ , Gakkun. You already know the answer.”

 _How can I think properly when you’re sitting so close to me, like this?_ Gackt wanted to say but could not bring himself to open his mouth. Then, a thought struck him. _No, surely not…? He wouldn’t play a trick on me like that…_

“It’s not…” he whispered, their faces still close. He felt hot, the effects of a night of drinking at last catching up with him. “it’s not me, is it? Don’t tease me so…” his eyes downcast, Gackt fought a blush.

Kami’s eyes brightened and he carefully unstuck the card from Gackt’s forehead. “Bingo,” he whispered softly. He looked into Gackt’s eyes, heart pounding. He kept his face close to the young man’s, not wanting to move away. “I’m not teasing you, Gakkun.” He stroked Gackt’s hair reassuringly.

“Kami,” Gackt whispered, short of breath. “What… is this…?” his eyes were wide, looking Kami up and down, from his eyes to his lips and back again.

“I don’t know…” he replied, taking Gackt’s chin gently in his hand and pressing their lips together hesitantly. He snaked his hands around the back of Gackt’s neck and held him close. “Gakkun… please… don’t leave me tonight.”

“Kami,” Gackt whispered against Kami’s lips, “I won’t…” he kissed him again, softly. Gackt ran his hands through Kami’s long hair, clutching fistfuls of it and holding tightly as though if he left go, he would drown. _I had no idea…_ a million thoughts jostled in his mind for attention. They sat on the couch like that for a few moments, time stretching out and seemingly freezing in place; foreheads pressed together, content with hearing each other’s breathing slow down.

Then, after a moment, Kami broke their silence.

“Do you want to know a secret?” He looked into Gackt’s large brown eyes and smiled. Gackt nodded, entwining a hand with Kami’s and resting it on his thigh. “I think I fell in love with you the night we met,” he said softly, still hesitant about everything. “Watching you sing for the first time, I remember feeling like I was watching an angel.”

Gackt smiled bashfully and averted his eyes. “Is that true…? You story teller…” he kissed Kami’s forehead. “Kami, you… this will cause us so many problems… is this really okay?” he looked searchingly at the older man, at once bursting with love and frozen with fear of what might happen if anyone found out about them.

Kami drew the other man close and kissed the top of his head. “I don’t care about anyone else, Gakkun,” he said at last. “As long as you’re by my side.”

Gackt smiled up at him. “Kiss me again,” he whispered.

*

The morning light stirred both men awake; they lay on the couch together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Beer bottles lay strewn about the table and floor, leaving the unmistakable scent of the prior evening’s activities hanging heavily in the air.

“Kami,” Gackt whispered, gently nudging the other man. “Kami, wake up.” He twirled a piece of Kami’s long hair in his fingers. At last, his eyes fluttered open. He stared at Gackt for a moment, almost confused as to why he was there. Then, remembering, a smile crept across his lips.

“Good morning,” he said, voice raspy. He pulled the young man in close and kissed the top of his forehead, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. “Did you sleep well?”

Gackt nodded, and hesitantly kissed Kami’s cheek. “Did you?”

“Yeah,” Kami replied. “I slept really well, with you next to me.” They sat up and leaned on each other as they blinked awake. The clock on the side table read 10am.

Gackt rested a hand on Kami’s thigh and smiled when Kami laced his fingers in his. “Kami,” he said, “the others… you won’t say anything to them, will you?” _What will they think of us if they find out…? They still haven’t fully accepted me as it is…_

Kami smiled. “I won’t,” he replied. “This has nothing to do with them, Gakkun. It’s about you and me.” He took Gackt’s hand in his and kissed it, smiling. “You… you feel the same, right?” _Was last night a mistake? Did I ruin everything…?_

Gackt smiled, relaxing a little. “I do,” he whispered. “Of course I do.” He kissed Kami’s forehead. “I did not know how you truly felt… how I truly feel… until last night.” He ran his hand through his hair, sweeping his fringe aside. “I have never loved another man before, Kami,” he said honestly. “I don’t know what I’m doing… be patient with me…”

Kami smiled. “Neither have I, Gakkun,” he replied. “I was scared for a long time, once I realized how I really felt about you… but I’m not frightened anymore.” He took Gackt’s face in his hands and brought their lips together, deepening the kiss. Gackt sunk into the other man’s embrace, warmth spreading throughout his body. Kami broke the kiss, continuing, “it was so hard for me not to reach out and touch you, when we’re practicing… or just resting together after a show…” he curled his fingers around the back of Gackt’s neck, as if emphasizing his point, “I have wanted to kiss you for so very long…” Kami rested a hand on Gackt’s thigh, slowly sliding up. Gackt felt a shiver down his spine, and grinned at the other man’s touch.

The phone rang.

Gackt pressed his forehead against Kami and the men shared a laugh.

“Answer it,” Gackt said smiling. “It might be important.”

Kami got up off the couch and padded over to the phone and picked it up.

“Hello?” he asked. He glanced back at Gackt, who was stretching on the sofa. _How cute he is,_ he mused. _What have we done…?_

“Kami, where the hell are you?” Mana’s exasperated voice chastised through the phone line. “Do you know where the brat is? He’s not at practice either.”

 _Shit,_ he panicked. _We had practice this morning. Fuck. Think fast._ “Sorry, Mana,” Kami hung his head. “I drank too much last night and only just woke up. I’ll be there soon.” He looked over at Gackt, his face confused, concerned. _What’s up?_ He mouthed. Kami shook his head not to worry. “I’ll pick Gackt up on the way, I’m sure he probably just had a few too many last night, too.”

“Well, hurry up! We have a show coming and there are still a few kinks to work out.” Mana hung up the phone, ever impetuous.

“Fuck,” Kami hissed, putting the phone down. “We have to go,” he sat back down next to Gackt. “We had a rehearsal this morning.”

“Oh shit,” Gackt covered his mouth, surprised. “I totally forgot.” He ruffled his hair and shook his head, attempting to wake himself up properly. Kami sat back down next to him and patted his cheeks. “We’ve got to go, haven’t we?” His eyes were regretful.

“We do. Mana’s pissed.”

“We’d better go then,” Gackt sighed, stretching his legs. “I don’t really feel like getting yelled at.”

Despite the situation, the pair laughed.

*

“Where the hell have you two been?” Mana’s raised voice made them both wince, still a little fuzzy from their night of drinking. Kami instinctively stepped in front of Gackt.

“We’re here now, aren’t we?” he countered, annoyed. “It’s not like we’re late to an actual gig, Mana.”

“That’s not the point!” he huffed, sitting down and crossing his leg. He lit a cigarette, took a drag, and stared at Gackt, pointing it. “We do have a show coming up, or did you forget, you brat?”

Gackt looked at Kami and opened his mouth to speak up, but Kami continued. “It’s my fault, Mana. Don’t yell at him. We’re here now, let’s just carry on.”

“Look how you care for him,” Mana rolled his eyes and took another drag of his cigarette. “I’m touched.” Then, sighing and putting it out, he stood up and bumped Gackt’s shoulder on purpose. “Let’s start with Ma Cherie and just go from there. I’ve had enough.”

Kami gave Gackt an apologetic look and quickly touched his wrist before they took their positions.

*

After practice, Gackt and Kami left together, as had become their custom. Tired from having such a rigorous rehearsal while hungover and on an empty stomach, they decided to head into the French café down the road. Happily, it wasn’t crowded; they found a table near the back and ordered five different dishes between them to share – “I’m starving!” Gackt had said. “Let’s just order everything that sounds good,” Kami replied. “I’m going to collapse!” – and once the waitress brought them, both boys made a show of thanking her, showering her with praise for having brought them food so quickly. The waitress, not knowing who they were – they were barefaced after all – blushed and brought them free coffee. They ate in happy silence for a while, feet entwined under the table.

“Gakkun,” Kami began softly, taking a sip of his coffee. “Things won’t change, will they?” He looked at the other man over top of his ceramic mug.

Gackt thought for a moment, considering his answer. “I don’t want things to change,” he said. “I want things to go on as they always have, with you by my side. I now know how I truly feel about you, and… and I don’t want to go back to how things were before.” He leaned in closer; Kami mirrored him. “Do you want to come home with me? We can continue what you started this morning…” he winked at Kami, whose eyes widened at the thought.

Kami hummed, pretending to think about it, making Gackt laugh. “Only if you promise to unplug your phone so we don’t get interrupted,” he grinned.

*

Hours later, the pair sat up in bed resting on each other, their breathing at last relaxed and the sweat on their brows finally dry. Gackt kissed Kami’s shoulder and tasted salt. He smiled.

“Kami, will you promise me something?”

“Anything,” he said, one hand gently stroking the other man’s tousled hair. “What is it?”

“Promise me you’ll stay by my side forever.”

“I promise, Gakkun. I won’t leave your side.”

“Now kiss me.”

Kami obeyed, taking Gackt’s face in his hands.

 

Somewhere in the distance, it began to rain.


End file.
